The Bacon Bowl

Have you seen this ad? Brace yourself…

At this point, why not make the plate on which this bacon bowl is served also out of bacon? And perhaps a nice cross-stitched bacon placemat? And the table itself, all made of bacon? How about a bacon apron or a bacon bib that you can wear on long drives?

A favorite line of a writer friend of mine, Mollie Hemingway, is “Everything tastes better with bacon.” I think she’s mostly right (a person told me he once tried to distill bacon vodka, but it was like drinking bacon grease). And I love bacon—especially on cheeseburgers and wrapped around scallops. But you have got to draw the line somewhere. Otherwise, you’re entering Elvis territory—on a tour of Graceland, I heard the audio-narrator claim the King ate four pounds of bacon a day. (This could be an embellishment, considering the narrator also explains Elvis played racquetball one morning, went upstairs to rest, and died. Well, that’s one way of putting it.)

In any event, I’m drawing the line on Perfect Bacon Bowl. Well, I could see myself trying it once, but…

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