You take a gamble clicking on those Drudge headlines. There are some that I will easily skip—stories about flesh-eating viruses, face transplant photos, castration, a new study about the elderly having more sex—and others I just can’t resist. Yesterday it was “Woman Says She’s Allergic to Husband’s Sperm.” I was immediately reminded of The Hangover:
Phil: Oh, so you can’t go to Vegas … but she can f—k a bellhop on a Carnival Cruise Line?
Stu: Okay, first of all, he was a bartender. And she was wasted. And, if you must know, he didn’t even come inside her.
Phil: And you believe that?
Stu: Uh, yeah, I do believe that, because she’s grossed out by semen.
But I was wrong. This turns out to be a genuine story posted on ABC News about a couple, Jeff and Clara (not her real name), who learned following their wedding (yes, they waited!) that she suffers seminal plasma sensitivity, “an allergic reaction to the proteins in Jeff’s semen,” explains ABC’s Susan Donaldson James. “Even using a condom didn’t help, so the couple avoided intimacy.” The results for Clara were not pleasant and, initially, she thought she’d contracted an STD. But not having sex was impractical. Ultimately they sought treatment with Dr. Jonathan Bernstein of the University of Cincinnati. It was a seminal moment.
Just two weeks ago, Clara underwent an intravaginal “graded challenge” using serial dilutions of her husband’s seminal fluid, which were injected via a syringe every 15-20 minutes over the course of two to three hours.
Their homework was to have sex within 12 hours and “see how it went,” Clara said. Her symptoms “resolved substantially,” according to Bernstein, who had her rate the pain.
Over time, things improved, and now the two are a loving couple in every sense. Who knew this story would have a happy ending?